Good Character or Good Reputation?

Lately I have been coming across a lot of inspiring prominent South African women who have appalling characters. This for me; takes everything away from them because I personally do not believe that these two qualities can authentically exist without the other. Obviously I realize this is debatable – which is why I’m writing about it.

There is a saying that goes “A good name will shine forever” People further support this by believing that your name and who you are (status) will speak for you, open life doors for you & who cares about your character! Females once again are more likely the ones to lose characters as they climb higher – I’m yet to find out why. Women are being exposed to awesome opportunities but are penetrating slowly because they concentrate on carrying high reputations more and are dropping good characters on the way.

It is very sad when you realize that our sisters are willing to sacrifice their good characters just to have a high profiled man. A man that will give her status; take her to high profiled events to middle with high profiled people. I am a woman who believes in grabbing every opportunity coming your way. If the above is by all means an opportunity for you towards your dream – grab it, but please take your values with!

Sisters would even lose memory of those they used to hang out with! They will be on some “Do I know you” “You look very familiar” “I can’t hear you, I’ll call you back”. I know ladies who come from the bucolic side of their towns who all of a sudden come from the big cities. This clearly implies that your high class reputation cannot be associated with rural areas. Ironically though; those rural areas were able to raise a character that was able to go to the world and conquer. All that is expected of the conqueror was to nurture that instilled character and put the village name on the map.

Your reputation is so heavy in your mouth that you can’t even say hello to the person next to you.

I admire the likes of Nkhensani Nkosi; Khanyi Dhlomo who are doing very well for themselves but have their feet firm on the ground.

I can’t say much about a good reputation because I believe that reputation is for the world to see & for one to be fulfilled but; a good character keeps one grounded & is what the unseen world sees.

I accept that certain lifestyles, life interests, friends may shape towards your current status but; I totally do not agree with the change in primary values especially the value of Ubuntu.

To a certain degree the world is becoming “who can do what for me” – understandably so because they say you are likely to become like those you surround yourself with. However; I believe that a sustainable reputation should stand on a concrete base of good character. A reputation is fragile; but a character will stand the test of time.

Abraham Lincoln once wrote – “Character is the tree & Reputation is the shadow”! Our character is not what we do to show others, it is what we constantly do even when the world is asleep. Everyone has a character – people sometimes thing a person either has or doesn’t have character; you’d often hear them say “She has a character”. It is either bad or good, but everyone has a character. It is in one’s religion, personality, values and beliefs.

In my opinion therefore; she who loses those characteristics of a good character over a life shade called reputation is lost!

Most of us ladies do not understand the significance of good character; we are on the chase for good reputations to a point that we live past our good characters. Forgetting that a good character is a foundation of true success; you might have money, position or power but if you have a bad character – I personally do not consider you truly successful.

A bad character can actually damage good relationships in your life, even have a negative impact on those you consider reputable in your life. A bad character influences your responses towards life; which may lead to you taking bad decisions on good opportunities.

I believe that a good character determines one’s response regardless of the circumstances!

Ladies, is it more important that we focus on building our good reputations more than we do for our characters?





Tamara Booi