Is your life so caught up in stereotypes to a point where you find yourself living by them?
It is very interesting to realize that among all races – black females are classified and continue to be perceived in a particular manner. Stereotypes about black females are a stigma, and what is disturbing is the fact that not only the white folk have stereotypes about us but also our black brothers.
Whites back in the day had what I call the main three character stereotypes about black women. For a very long time they concluded that they knew or understood the behaviour of black women through these characters and somehow we confirmed this. The first character was Jemima – This was a black fat woman, almost a mother earth figure, she had no sex appeal (at least to them), she was happy with her life of faithful service to the white people. She’d smile and laugh..maybe too much, she had a good heart but not particularly bright or even all that trustworthy. The second character was Jezebel (named after an evil queen in the bible). This black female was considered loose, had to have sex all the time, uses sex to draw men in to get what she wanted – which was most of the time money. The last character was Sapphire – This black woman seemed to always had her hands on her hips (in the minds of the white) while she’s running her mouth – putting her man down, making everything into a fight, never takes anything lying down. This was perceived an overbearing, hard and undesirable woman who drives men away. These characters stayed with the black folk and are still living with us even today.
In my opinion, these characters are not a well-meaning of us but an unsuccessful attempt to understand black women! They are an attempt to excuse the behaviour of white people AND black men towards black women. These stereotypes continue to teach children that black women are happy to do the dirty work (Jemima); do not mind having sex and children without a ring (Jezebel) and all they do is complain and want men to work for them (Sapphire).
It disgusts me to hear a black man bringing up the “Sapphire” stereotype as an excuse to date and marry a white woman! I like some of my black brother’s hip hop rhymes; but what is a hazard about some of them is that they still strengthens that black women are nothing but “bitches” and “hoes” – Sapphire & Jezebel.
Our cultures and traditions too continue to push a lot of stereotypes. As a black female, the minute you have 2 or 3 children out of wedlock – first words you hear “who will marry you?” Now for a teenager who happened to have wrecked her life to this situation; she immediately thinks & lives her life without any hope for marriage or any good man taking her seriously. By all means, I am not promoting children before marriage but who said you cannot find a man who will appreciate your current self with your past flaws? And who said you are not complete if you are not married or immoral if you date after 40?
I salute iconic people like Oprah Winfrey who cuts right across these stereotypes and weakens them. It’s all about choices that we make for ourselves and not about what choices society thinks we should make.
In the workplace, black females continue to be perceived as lazy and incompetent. Not because this is all true but once again; back in the day women in general were never hard at work. When women started to work hard, white females were quickly backed up by their families. Our struggles, culture & our black men’s insecurities still held us back. When a black woman started to break through this stereotype – a black men’s ego kept her second. Until this stereotype leaves the mind of the white AND a black man, you are still to be considered as “Having Potential” - “Still needs to learn”. If you are still waiting for the world to tell you that you are good – WAIT!
Black woman - dream big, think hard, break the stereotypes – do not allow yourself to be a reference of them, deteriorate them!
By dreaming big – you will always remember that you used to eat sardines for dinner, and this will push you to make sure that your children have a good balanced meal every time. You will remember that Father Christmas never visited your home, but always there at your neighbour’s doorstep; this will make you work hard that the North Pole be in your yard. You will remember that some birthdays would pass without a birthday cake; and that will make you work hard to a point when you sip on Champaign when you thirsty.
By thinking hard – you will always remember how you used to wish for better days, better clothes, better life; and this will make you get off your behind!
By breaking those stereotypes – you will be bringing the black woman’s dignity and power to light!
Tamara Booi