“Does one have to be poor or more in need than others to be considered a genuine Christian?”
As we are different people on earth we are bound to have different values, interests and different ways in which we conduct our lives. Even in Christianity, we attend different churches and follow different Christian methods. However, what makes us all similar is that a vast majority of us believe in the same powers, that of God.
There is an ongoing scare in our human nature that somehow permits us to distinguish ourselves from one on another by the level of sincerity as we all come before God. Since early years as I grew up, I have always observed that people who were affluent & focused on their success were perceived as far away from God or not serious about God. My other observations were, a majority of Christians who were ‘saved’ or ‘born again’ were all poor people and people who come from troubled homes. As a child this created a lot of confusion because, my background teachings were all of the above – we were firm Christians at home and still believed in money and success.
Even today, financial success and Christianity continues to contradict each other. In all fairness, people who are in successful positions in life turn to get too busy to a point that Christianity methods just turn to pass them by. The handful that you find active in churches continues to be scrutinised with the view point that they rule-over God’s powers with money powers.
In my opinion, we Christians have a narrow understanding on how one should be serving God. There is an old significant traditional way of serving God which is waking up every Sunday morning to go praise Him at churches and follow the proceedings thereof. This is one strong engine that can never stop & all Christians should strive for it however, it can never be the umpire of people’s faith in the Lord. We serve the Lord differently - some give their time, some their assets, some their souls and some just serve the Lord by helping others. As the scripture says, Jesus was the example of how God wanted us to be like – forgiving, kind, giving & faithful ...to mention the least. However; I get concerned about what we teaching our children, that God hates money & success? Where do material blessings come from? Deuteronomy 8:18 says “Remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” It is when these material blessings take the centre of our lives that God’s place is replaced. Jeremiah 9:23 says “...let not the rich man boasts about his riches but boast about that he understands and know Me, that I am the Lord....”
God wants us to be happy and frankly, money & success makes us happy. It is us who create evil around the blessings that God gives us on earth. Jesus warns us through St Luke (12:15), He says, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” God does not want us to suffer; Timothy (1 Timothy-6:10) is often quoted out of context when he talks about money as root of all evil. My understanding of the verse is: the overwhelming love of money is the root of evil, the soul of a person who cherishes money is bound to wander from the faith and get trapped into foolish & harmful desires. With this verse I understand that you cannot serve both God & money – you need to make money and serve God.
God wants all man to prosper! Let there be no priest who is poor because s/he chose to serve the Lord. Let there be no Christian who is poor because s/he chose to be ‘saved’. God is against greed not prosperity. Let there be no Christian who is satisfied by a minimum, whereas God has blessed us with talents and abilities to have more. There is a concerning statement often used by lazy Christians that goes “God will provide”. In my opinion, God has provided already – you are able and powerful. The only thing that is left of you is to go out there and strive. The way we interpret the scripture is not inviting to those who are still away from the word of God. We chose to be God’s disciples on earth, but only the Lord knows who are ‘the chosen’ ones.
Go make money as much as you can, prosper, get rich if possible. Money is no evil; it’s the evil in us that creates wrong attitudes towards wealth. All we need to remember is to serve the Lord and keep our heart desires with Him.
Until next time
Tamara Booi
This blog is designed to serve all women across the globe. Its aim is to encourage, build, inspire, educate and motivate women. It will help you smile, discover, learn & share, which is all that a woman needs. Women are beautiful from the inside-out, intelligent, kind, soft, adorable and strong. They are the center of the universe, the world revolves around them. Let us talk it all! Tamara
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Do Cross-Gender Friendships work?
“Sexual attractions will prevent men & women from forming strong platonic bonds...”
There is an old debate about how Fe-Male friendships can or cannot survive. In our modern society we see more development on these friendships but the underlying question still exists. Friendships and social interactions are important in our lives. Studies have shown that socialization can help improve mental and emotional health. Having strong friendships is believed to reduce or prevent depression and even improve one’s memory. I personally agree with the above theory but can we have intimate friendships with our opposite gender?
In my opinion, friendships can be made between anyone at any time but developing strong bonds with the opposite sex can complicate friendships. Depending on what your social beliefs are about what constitutes friendship for between men and women. Female friendship has more intimate elements. We seek care, support and sharing. In our gatherings we dish out our fears, hurt and we get all vulnerable at each other. We cry, laugh & talk about everything including how we should be crying with make-up on. So man should just give up, we are not going to stop crying just because makeup has become popular in our recent life. We are just going to find out how to cry while wearing it:-). We sleep together and share blankets while watching movies. We touch, kiss & hold each other showing support or giving comfort.
On the other hand, men get together to unwind. For them friendship is all about positive competition and seldom about how they feel about life. Men are afraid of being vulnerable at each other as this is perceived as being ‘less of a man’. Conversational styles also differ for them; who typically focus on power and hierarchy in their interactions, while women focus more on connection.
Looking at the above differences one would need to have a great understanding to form a sincere friendship across genders. Just because she is crying on your shoulder after a hiccup in her life doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you. Same applies to us ladies, just because he is polite doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to have a relationship with you. The dissimilarities between the two genders are the core reason why it is not advisable to form intimate friendships between a man and a woman. However, if you know that you are capable of being constantly aware that you are dealing with the opposite – you can try this. If you are not yet sure, please keep the friendship as neutral as possible. Having to have sex with your male friend or your ex every time you are hurting may make you feel better in the moment, but is it really what you needed? Be able to differentiate! This doesn’t necessarily lye with sexual attractions only, the way we engage in topics may be a little awkward for men (unless of cause he’s gay:-).
I believe having male friends at arms length can be good for you. They are great at giving different perceptive in life and you can learn a lot from their strength of achieving and their innovative spirit. Inviting him in for pizza on a chilli Friday night might not be a good idea though. He will sleep with you because he thinks thats what you want. They understand they are there to fix things. He might just 'fix' you making you think you have started a relationship. To him, he is still your friend just that there was some 'fixing' that needed to happen:-). You might end up calling him a cow if you phone him at work to talk about how you got a bargain from a La Senza Sale recently - because he will not engage the way you want. He is definitely not a cow; you are just talking to a wrong friend at a wrong time.
Ladies, stop hurting yourselves by seeking comfort from male friends. Have them around when you need to unwind too! When you have those days where you need interactions that are less emotionally challenging & more power stimulating.
Until next time, Power to Sisterhood!
Tamara Booi
There is an old debate about how Fe-Male friendships can or cannot survive. In our modern society we see more development on these friendships but the underlying question still exists. Friendships and social interactions are important in our lives. Studies have shown that socialization can help improve mental and emotional health. Having strong friendships is believed to reduce or prevent depression and even improve one’s memory. I personally agree with the above theory but can we have intimate friendships with our opposite gender?
In my opinion, friendships can be made between anyone at any time but developing strong bonds with the opposite sex can complicate friendships. Depending on what your social beliefs are about what constitutes friendship for between men and women. Female friendship has more intimate elements. We seek care, support and sharing. In our gatherings we dish out our fears, hurt and we get all vulnerable at each other. We cry, laugh & talk about everything including how we should be crying with make-up on. So man should just give up, we are not going to stop crying just because makeup has become popular in our recent life. We are just going to find out how to cry while wearing it:-). We sleep together and share blankets while watching movies. We touch, kiss & hold each other showing support or giving comfort.
On the other hand, men get together to unwind. For them friendship is all about positive competition and seldom about how they feel about life. Men are afraid of being vulnerable at each other as this is perceived as being ‘less of a man’. Conversational styles also differ for them; who typically focus on power and hierarchy in their interactions, while women focus more on connection.
Looking at the above differences one would need to have a great understanding to form a sincere friendship across genders. Just because she is crying on your shoulder after a hiccup in her life doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you. Same applies to us ladies, just because he is polite doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to have a relationship with you. The dissimilarities between the two genders are the core reason why it is not advisable to form intimate friendships between a man and a woman. However, if you know that you are capable of being constantly aware that you are dealing with the opposite – you can try this. If you are not yet sure, please keep the friendship as neutral as possible. Having to have sex with your male friend or your ex every time you are hurting may make you feel better in the moment, but is it really what you needed? Be able to differentiate! This doesn’t necessarily lye with sexual attractions only, the way we engage in topics may be a little awkward for men (unless of cause he’s gay:-).
I believe having male friends at arms length can be good for you. They are great at giving different perceptive in life and you can learn a lot from their strength of achieving and their innovative spirit. Inviting him in for pizza on a chilli Friday night might not be a good idea though. He will sleep with you because he thinks thats what you want. They understand they are there to fix things. He might just 'fix' you making you think you have started a relationship. To him, he is still your friend just that there was some 'fixing' that needed to happen:-). You might end up calling him a cow if you phone him at work to talk about how you got a bargain from a La Senza Sale recently - because he will not engage the way you want. He is definitely not a cow; you are just talking to a wrong friend at a wrong time.
Ladies, stop hurting yourselves by seeking comfort from male friends. Have them around when you need to unwind too! When you have those days where you need interactions that are less emotionally challenging & more power stimulating.
Until next time, Power to Sisterhood!
Tamara Booi
Friday, May 6, 2011
Slow Down Youth of South Africa!
Are we in such a rush as youth of South Africa, or are we just moving with the times...
I love the 21st century era! We see more educated youth across all races, great business opportunities, hungry and dedicated men, independent women, social networks, internet, instant foods, rights and rights and more rights!
The world is becoming a circus. Almost like different music is playing at the same time and people are dancing to their own favourite tunes. All good and well for our evident success however, it’s concerning how we value life in the process. We are in such an adrenaline rush to a point where we achieve a five year’s work in six months! We sometimes forget that there were also achievers before our generation. The difference between us and them is that they understood the value of a marathon opposed to that of a sprinter. They were driven by long-term goals and we are driven by money, status and possessions.
Over the Easter Holidays I was at a gathering where (in my fashion) I got a couple of young-middle aged men talking. I obviously wanted to understand the logic of our fellow youth, their aspirations and long-term goals. I gathered that our youth is incredibly ambitious such that by age 38 they already are married, have kids, huge houses, successful businesses and all the expensive toys. I also figured that beyond it all there is little to non ambition thereafter; life is just a game and a hollow adventure. In all fairness, what else would you be interested in doing when you have it all at 38! With another 22yrs to retirement, you will be travelling, experimenting with things and people. We have a growing number of successful men in our country who just ‘turned’ bisexual. These people either have too much time or too much money at their disposal. They have it all, done it all, seen it all and the only thing bringing excitement in their lives is wild adventure.
Women on the other hand are on their own quest to be equalled, successful, self-sufficient, recognised and listened to. I just loved the sound of my keyboard when I typed that because I too fall into that category. However, like men the majority of us are running a sprinter with a blind fold. In a space of 5yrs (in no particular order) we work and get high corporate positions or even our own businesses, date, marry, have kids, divorce, re-date and live-in with younger men or just turn into lesbians.
Teenagers by age 20, they have long-lost their virginity, have at least 2 kids and on a mission to be successful and be recognised with no particular long-term goals. Having one partner as a boyfriend is taboo in our times! A drink from a stranger at a bar confirms a date and even a sexual encounter the same night. Every chance we get we complain about the unfaithful behaviours of our men forgetting that we are the ones holding the keys. I don’t think men even recall how to propose a lady. It is way too easy for them to touch us, and getting under our skirts is worth a Jimmy choo heels (even a cell phone airtime) which is not even half a quarter of his bank account.
Getting married is becoming a fashion too; it’s a matter of who can afford to. Seemingly no one realizes the value of marriage and the consequences of making that decision. It is like we have created a life checklist, we want to experience everything just to tick it off and go to the next. I was shocked when I heard that a couple that got married in Dec 2010 have divorced in March this year. This is unheard of!
I strongly believe that the government and media of our country have a huge influence on this issue and any other motivational challenge facing our youth. We hear and read more about the success of role models in our country and less about the critical values our celebrities and key leaders have. Values may not do anything for the growth of the country’s economy perhaps, but they sure can decrease the growing rate of HIV and AIDS deaths in our youth. They can reduce the number of high school drop-outs caused by teenage pregnancies. In my opinion, I think it’s a short-sighted decision for government to rather allow pregnant teenagers to carry on with school than finding ways to have a moral society. I salute the Zulu community that is still holding on to values such as ukuhlolwa kwentombi. People have varying opinions about this and it’s a touching matter but in my experience; nothing good has ever been popular.
We need to see more of successful people with strong values to hold influential positions. Our television screens need to show less of controversial immoral people. The youth needs to understand that if you carry yourself in a particular manner – you will not be seen on TV, heard on the radio nor read of on magazines. Our youth believes that controversial stories sell magazines & newspapers, so why bother being ethical because no one is interested in that.
By all means this article is not taking anything away from the individuals who are successful and possess great values for our society. There are great role models out there and we need to hear more of them. The youth of South Africa needs to slow down! We suppose to bury our parents and not the other way around. Success is good and we all want it but life is meaningless without values. An immoral society is a dying society. Our country has won a racial struggle and now we have a duty to fight a struggle of a corrupt society.
Until next time!
Tamara Booi
I love the 21st century era! We see more educated youth across all races, great business opportunities, hungry and dedicated men, independent women, social networks, internet, instant foods, rights and rights and more rights!
The world is becoming a circus. Almost like different music is playing at the same time and people are dancing to their own favourite tunes. All good and well for our evident success however, it’s concerning how we value life in the process. We are in such an adrenaline rush to a point where we achieve a five year’s work in six months! We sometimes forget that there were also achievers before our generation. The difference between us and them is that they understood the value of a marathon opposed to that of a sprinter. They were driven by long-term goals and we are driven by money, status and possessions.
Over the Easter Holidays I was at a gathering where (in my fashion) I got a couple of young-middle aged men talking. I obviously wanted to understand the logic of our fellow youth, their aspirations and long-term goals. I gathered that our youth is incredibly ambitious such that by age 38 they already are married, have kids, huge houses, successful businesses and all the expensive toys. I also figured that beyond it all there is little to non ambition thereafter; life is just a game and a hollow adventure. In all fairness, what else would you be interested in doing when you have it all at 38! With another 22yrs to retirement, you will be travelling, experimenting with things and people. We have a growing number of successful men in our country who just ‘turned’ bisexual. These people either have too much time or too much money at their disposal. They have it all, done it all, seen it all and the only thing bringing excitement in their lives is wild adventure.
Women on the other hand are on their own quest to be equalled, successful, self-sufficient, recognised and listened to. I just loved the sound of my keyboard when I typed that because I too fall into that category. However, like men the majority of us are running a sprinter with a blind fold. In a space of 5yrs (in no particular order) we work and get high corporate positions or even our own businesses, date, marry, have kids, divorce, re-date and live-in with younger men or just turn into lesbians.
Teenagers by age 20, they have long-lost their virginity, have at least 2 kids and on a mission to be successful and be recognised with no particular long-term goals. Having one partner as a boyfriend is taboo in our times! A drink from a stranger at a bar confirms a date and even a sexual encounter the same night. Every chance we get we complain about the unfaithful behaviours of our men forgetting that we are the ones holding the keys. I don’t think men even recall how to propose a lady. It is way too easy for them to touch us, and getting under our skirts is worth a Jimmy choo heels (even a cell phone airtime) which is not even half a quarter of his bank account.
Getting married is becoming a fashion too; it’s a matter of who can afford to. Seemingly no one realizes the value of marriage and the consequences of making that decision. It is like we have created a life checklist, we want to experience everything just to tick it off and go to the next. I was shocked when I heard that a couple that got married in Dec 2010 have divorced in March this year. This is unheard of!
I strongly believe that the government and media of our country have a huge influence on this issue and any other motivational challenge facing our youth. We hear and read more about the success of role models in our country and less about the critical values our celebrities and key leaders have. Values may not do anything for the growth of the country’s economy perhaps, but they sure can decrease the growing rate of HIV and AIDS deaths in our youth. They can reduce the number of high school drop-outs caused by teenage pregnancies. In my opinion, I think it’s a short-sighted decision for government to rather allow pregnant teenagers to carry on with school than finding ways to have a moral society. I salute the Zulu community that is still holding on to values such as ukuhlolwa kwentombi. People have varying opinions about this and it’s a touching matter but in my experience; nothing good has ever been popular.
We need to see more of successful people with strong values to hold influential positions. Our television screens need to show less of controversial immoral people. The youth needs to understand that if you carry yourself in a particular manner – you will not be seen on TV, heard on the radio nor read of on magazines. Our youth believes that controversial stories sell magazines & newspapers, so why bother being ethical because no one is interested in that.
By all means this article is not taking anything away from the individuals who are successful and possess great values for our society. There are great role models out there and we need to hear more of them. The youth of South Africa needs to slow down! We suppose to bury our parents and not the other way around. Success is good and we all want it but life is meaningless without values. An immoral society is a dying society. Our country has won a racial struggle and now we have a duty to fight a struggle of a corrupt society.
Until next time!
Tamara Booi
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Are you living the life you should or that which is accepted by society?
“No written law has ever been more binding than unwritten customs supported by popular opinions”
Life is a beautiful long journey, and I believe we all would like to walk through it with pride. One of the things I like most about it is that it is unpredictable. It can flip from dark to dawn in an instant, and that is what keeps it more interesting. As we mature we appreciate that there is no right or wrong in the way in which people conduct their lives. Those who believe and understand this have freed their minds and turn to be more liberal than others. However, there are still those understood – unrecorded - traditional ‘laws’ that differentiate wrong from that which is considered right.
In my opinion, those understood practices have a negative impact in our lives, growth, relationships and how we view things and others. They are like danger to us in the sense that they are engraved in our minds. No matter how free our country is our minds are still not free from popular habits.
In the past, for obvious reasons white people were considered the most intelligent population. Even today, for some reason there are areas where we trust them more than our black fellows. If one is in hospital for example, and in theatre, one would prefer being surrounded by white specialists. My son started crèche two weeks ago. On his first day, I was eager to drop him off because I wanted to meet his teacher. A well mannered presentable (probably qualified) black lady welcomed me in his class. My unsettled face could not help but keep looking behind her hoping to see a ‘white face’. As we were talking, I was somehow relieved to realize that she was an assistant and the teacher was not there yet. Ask yourself why?
The English language is another factor. We put pressure on one another to not only speak but twang the language. It is puzzling to realize that black people with an ‘English’ accent are still considered smart. They are not only smart but they are even more attractive to men – Sad.
We are generally conscious about how we look. Not that we are entirely unhappy about our natural look but – the beauty is considered to be in that long noise, soft long hair, long lashes and pink lips. We go out of our way to get these looks just to be seen as ‘one of us’. Some even put pressure on their relationships or marriages because they can not be viewed as ‘cannot afford’. Some are just creating embarrassing looks as they grab the next best thing they can get their hands on just to fit in.
Relationships are suffering from the ever lasting opinions on how things should or should not be done. You get a man who likes cooking and is paired with a woman who hates the sight of pots. I tell you this relationship/marriage will be strained because this man will not do what he likes – cooking, as it is considered a woman’s job. I have a girl friend who sincerely likes to make barbecue and she does it better than her hubby. She’s only allowed to do it when they are alone at home. If they have visitors, hubby does it and robs guests off the scrumptious barbecue they could ever get from that house.
Men are suppose to earn more salaries than their women and should be in executive positions than their spouses...as it were. Great relationships are suffering from this stereotype. Good men are being destroyed internally by how we value the size of their pockets more than the love and treatment they can give us. I am not asking you to go pick a broke apathetic man who does nothing but your koekie. I sure hell don’t want to die broke too. However, I don’t see a reason why you can not have a loving, motivated working man who just earns less than you do.
Women are suffering from the venom called infidelity in relationships/marriages. Societal old traditions have also gender-differentiated this challenge and is justified – Men can cheat and women cannot. Women are distress from this and continue to be emotionally damaged. This is something that needs to be seen as a challenge for both genders. Ladies, I am not condoning infidelity here! Two wrongs can never make right! What I am highlighting is the fact that the most common reasons why men cheat could very well be that women suffer from them too but just cannot cheat. If this could be viewed like this, men could learn to work on their relationships more before they cheat or divorce.
You maybe changing relationships like underwear, to a point where they have given you names. Call me liberal but if they are not what you looking for – change them till you get what you want. As long as you keep your dignity, pride and repeat no mistakes.
Ladies, you need to know what you want, go out there and get it. People make life enjoyable but they can be a major destruction on your voyage to true happiness. It’s your decision, its either you live your life making them happy or live your life and be happy.
Until next time – be true to ones self!
Tamara Booi
Life is a beautiful long journey, and I believe we all would like to walk through it with pride. One of the things I like most about it is that it is unpredictable. It can flip from dark to dawn in an instant, and that is what keeps it more interesting. As we mature we appreciate that there is no right or wrong in the way in which people conduct their lives. Those who believe and understand this have freed their minds and turn to be more liberal than others. However, there are still those understood – unrecorded - traditional ‘laws’ that differentiate wrong from that which is considered right.
In my opinion, those understood practices have a negative impact in our lives, growth, relationships and how we view things and others. They are like danger to us in the sense that they are engraved in our minds. No matter how free our country is our minds are still not free from popular habits.
In the past, for obvious reasons white people were considered the most intelligent population. Even today, for some reason there are areas where we trust them more than our black fellows. If one is in hospital for example, and in theatre, one would prefer being surrounded by white specialists. My son started crèche two weeks ago. On his first day, I was eager to drop him off because I wanted to meet his teacher. A well mannered presentable (probably qualified) black lady welcomed me in his class. My unsettled face could not help but keep looking behind her hoping to see a ‘white face’. As we were talking, I was somehow relieved to realize that she was an assistant and the teacher was not there yet. Ask yourself why?
The English language is another factor. We put pressure on one another to not only speak but twang the language. It is puzzling to realize that black people with an ‘English’ accent are still considered smart. They are not only smart but they are even more attractive to men – Sad.
We are generally conscious about how we look. Not that we are entirely unhappy about our natural look but – the beauty is considered to be in that long noise, soft long hair, long lashes and pink lips. We go out of our way to get these looks just to be seen as ‘one of us’. Some even put pressure on their relationships or marriages because they can not be viewed as ‘cannot afford’. Some are just creating embarrassing looks as they grab the next best thing they can get their hands on just to fit in.
Relationships are suffering from the ever lasting opinions on how things should or should not be done. You get a man who likes cooking and is paired with a woman who hates the sight of pots. I tell you this relationship/marriage will be strained because this man will not do what he likes – cooking, as it is considered a woman’s job. I have a girl friend who sincerely likes to make barbecue and she does it better than her hubby. She’s only allowed to do it when they are alone at home. If they have visitors, hubby does it and robs guests off the scrumptious barbecue they could ever get from that house.
Men are suppose to earn more salaries than their women and should be in executive positions than their spouses...as it were. Great relationships are suffering from this stereotype. Good men are being destroyed internally by how we value the size of their pockets more than the love and treatment they can give us. I am not asking you to go pick a broke apathetic man who does nothing but your koekie. I sure hell don’t want to die broke too. However, I don’t see a reason why you can not have a loving, motivated working man who just earns less than you do.
Women are suffering from the venom called infidelity in relationships/marriages. Societal old traditions have also gender-differentiated this challenge and is justified – Men can cheat and women cannot. Women are distress from this and continue to be emotionally damaged. This is something that needs to be seen as a challenge for both genders. Ladies, I am not condoning infidelity here! Two wrongs can never make right! What I am highlighting is the fact that the most common reasons why men cheat could very well be that women suffer from them too but just cannot cheat. If this could be viewed like this, men could learn to work on their relationships more before they cheat or divorce.
You maybe changing relationships like underwear, to a point where they have given you names. Call me liberal but if they are not what you looking for – change them till you get what you want. As long as you keep your dignity, pride and repeat no mistakes.
Ladies, you need to know what you want, go out there and get it. People make life enjoyable but they can be a major destruction on your voyage to true happiness. It’s your decision, its either you live your life making them happy or live your life and be happy.
Until next time – be true to ones self!
Tamara Booi
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Stop Procrastinating!
Nothing will ever be accomplished if all possible objections must be overcome first!
This year, like any other beginning of a new year we all have set out our resolutions and goals. However, like any race only few men will make it to the finish line. I strongly believe that this is not because we are incapable of reaching our goals but we waste time talking about them and procrastinating. A lot of us are fortunate enough to know exactly what we want out of our lives, only if we were not spending half of our time wishing for things to happen. You may have piled-up enough tomorrows to realise that at the end of it all you have actually collected a lot of empty yesterdays. Many successful people on the land are not necessary the most intelligent but they understand the importance of time and that dreaming is only effective when you are resting at night.
Having said all of that, I know that starting something significant is difficult. Whether it’s starting your own business, university, going to gym, starting a particular career, a relationship or just deciding on living a healthy life. However, in a moment of decision, the best thing one can do is the right thing, the next best thing would be the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is doing nothing.
Maybe you still need to go back to school and complete that degree; maybe you need to lose/gain that weight; maybe you need to really stop smoking; maybe you know you shouldn’t be taking alcohol; maybe you are in the wrong career but are so comfortable because it is all that you know; maybe you are where you are because you are just afraid to be where you have never been; maybe you just don’t know how and when to start. Start by accepting that nothing will ever be accomplished if all possible objections must be overcome first. The most horrible thing about procrastination is that we put off major things and replace them with low priority actions.
On the flip side of the coin, could it be that procrastination isn’t always bad? One would argue, because some of the most impressive people I know are good procrastinators. Which then makes me believe there is good and bad procrastination. Like I said earlier, in any form of procrastination (good or bad) the worst thing you can do for yourself is doing nothing!
Good procrastinators avoid errands to do real work. There are three variants of procrastination depending on what you do instead of working on something – you could work on either 1) something important 2) something less important or 3) nothing. ‘Good procrastinators’ put off small stuff to work on big stuff. Errands are so effective in killing great projects and a lot of people use them for exactly that purpose. A housewife who decided to write a novel for example, will suddenly find that the house needs some cleaning. People who fail to write novels, they don’t do it by sitting in front of a blank page for days without writing anything. They do it by going out to get something they need while at it, meeting a friend for coffee, checking emails “I don’t have time to work” they say; and yes they don’t – they have made sure of it.
Lastly, the most dangerous form of procrastination is the unacknowledged one – because it doesn’t feel like procrastination. You may be getting things done, but just the wrong things.
What is the best thing you could be working on now? And why aren’t you?
Stop putting things off for the next day - Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week!
Until next time – stop procrastination.
Tamara Booi
This year, like any other beginning of a new year we all have set out our resolutions and goals. However, like any race only few men will make it to the finish line. I strongly believe that this is not because we are incapable of reaching our goals but we waste time talking about them and procrastinating. A lot of us are fortunate enough to know exactly what we want out of our lives, only if we were not spending half of our time wishing for things to happen. You may have piled-up enough tomorrows to realise that at the end of it all you have actually collected a lot of empty yesterdays. Many successful people on the land are not necessary the most intelligent but they understand the importance of time and that dreaming is only effective when you are resting at night.
Having said all of that, I know that starting something significant is difficult. Whether it’s starting your own business, university, going to gym, starting a particular career, a relationship or just deciding on living a healthy life. However, in a moment of decision, the best thing one can do is the right thing, the next best thing would be the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is doing nothing.
Maybe you still need to go back to school and complete that degree; maybe you need to lose/gain that weight; maybe you need to really stop smoking; maybe you know you shouldn’t be taking alcohol; maybe you are in the wrong career but are so comfortable because it is all that you know; maybe you are where you are because you are just afraid to be where you have never been; maybe you just don’t know how and when to start. Start by accepting that nothing will ever be accomplished if all possible objections must be overcome first. The most horrible thing about procrastination is that we put off major things and replace them with low priority actions.
On the flip side of the coin, could it be that procrastination isn’t always bad? One would argue, because some of the most impressive people I know are good procrastinators. Which then makes me believe there is good and bad procrastination. Like I said earlier, in any form of procrastination (good or bad) the worst thing you can do for yourself is doing nothing!
Good procrastinators avoid errands to do real work. There are three variants of procrastination depending on what you do instead of working on something – you could work on either 1) something important 2) something less important or 3) nothing. ‘Good procrastinators’ put off small stuff to work on big stuff. Errands are so effective in killing great projects and a lot of people use them for exactly that purpose. A housewife who decided to write a novel for example, will suddenly find that the house needs some cleaning. People who fail to write novels, they don’t do it by sitting in front of a blank page for days without writing anything. They do it by going out to get something they need while at it, meeting a friend for coffee, checking emails “I don’t have time to work” they say; and yes they don’t – they have made sure of it.
Lastly, the most dangerous form of procrastination is the unacknowledged one – because it doesn’t feel like procrastination. You may be getting things done, but just the wrong things.
What is the best thing you could be working on now? And why aren’t you?
Stop putting things off for the next day - Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week!
Until next time – stop procrastination.
Tamara Booi
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