I have realized that as I’m growing older and wiser I do not get easily angered. At first I was a little concerned as I thought I was losing my feminine side... A friend of mine confirmed this in a different way when she said to me the other day that I was becoming selfish. Selfish sounded horrible to those who were listening but my heart smiled with self-satisfaction and I could only say thank you as I thought that was a complement.
People with little understanding are most apt to get angry when their logic is called into action. As females, most of the time we think our inability to make sense at times qualifies our anger. Sometimes we miss out on constructive arguments because when the heat rise and we cannot articulate ourselves well anymore – we switch off & get angry. We lose good friendships because, when our good friends try and caution us about our shortcomings – we get angry. Sometimes we get so angry to a point that we believe we should be understood for being angry & those who angered us should apologise for doing so.
Having said that, it is almost impossible to think that anger is a feeling that does not exist in a human being. I believe that we are just allowing it to own a greater part of our intellectual faculty. It’s never about what people do or say that makes us angry; it’s what we tell ourselves about what they said or did. Anger is a feeling that should exits in a normal human creature but it is important that you let it out. As soon as anger is fed, it is dead but starving it makes it fat. It is even more crucial that we know how to let it out.
Stay away from immature anger! Shouting will most probably terrify the other person or just make him tone deaf; and what is said or done during that shall not be on record because it was said or done in anger & most of the time it has little influence to a solution. Crying may sure create some attention for you & things may go your way but this way of anger will not solve your problems. Things will go your way for hours/days & chances are the problem will transpire again because you were not understood but only felt pity for.
“The intoxication of anger, like that of grapes shows us to others but hides us from ourselves”
Anger will decrease your chances of learning & personal growth in general. People will close down on you, say & do all the things you are comfortable with because they’ll be cautious of saying or doing new things that might trigger your anger. Friends may let you be because they cautious of stepping into your anger zone; and those who don’t have time for that may just cut you out of their lives. Men may run away because immature anger is one of the signs of emotional challenged individual. Those men looking for a prey might stick around just to get you angrier and stay a victim to them.
Ladies, I challenge you all today to take control of your anger. When you are angry, you are powerless. They say, he who angers you conquers you. Instead of wasting your energies in being angry; why don’t you invest them in pulling your senses together & strive to be understood. Don’t forget to understand too to be understood – it’s a two way street.
Stay Powerful!
Tamara Booi
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