Sophisticated Prostitution

Today marks the first day of the Women’s month.  As we enjoy the events that will be happening across the country, I would like every woman to think morality. 

Sexual intercourse between older men and young girls is becoming a norm in our society.  I would like to think this behaviour is not knew however, it is becoming more acceptable.  I am not too sure if these are negative trails of our freedom or we are just becoming a generation of experiments.  What is more shocking is the pride that accompanies this immoral demeanour.

The other day I was watching an investigative program on TV that interviewed teenagers on their sexual relations with older man AKA “Sugar Daddies”.  I really wanted to understand where they were coming from with their reasons for their chosen lifestyle.  What did not sit in well with my process of understanding though was the fact that they felt it fitting to tell the world.  Another program on our TV screens showed a number of young girls proudly admitting on national television that they are sexually involved with one man.

The main reason or motive of these irregular relationships is money/financial assistance.  From what I have gathered, there’s a very small number to non that exists because of love.  These girls are prepared to allow these men to vandalise their purity in exchange for cash and gifts.  It was so sad to realize that; a mere R300 can get a man to sleep with a young girl in South Africa.

The culprits of these behaviours comes in different groups.  You get the teenage group that is often victims of this exploitation.  A majority of them come from disadvantaged backgrounds and broken homes.  Now if you look at this from a psychological point of view, you will realize that there are underlying problems that these teenagers are going through.  Growing up without a Father or any Father figure for example can make a girl fall for an older man.  The attraction she’s got for this older man may not necessarily be a sexual attraction.  It’s an underlying desire for the unknown that is often received with misunderstanding and selfish interests by a mature man.  Most young girls unfortunately fall for this, as sexual encounters are often complemented by an illusion of a real relationship.  The disgust they feel afterwards is somewhat healed by a shower of gifts and money.    

Then you get mature women who consciously choose to date older married men.  What is appalling from this group is the short-sighted thinking they have.  They are also often driven by financial security from these older men.  Another lady once said “I just need to get there and get over and done with” “I can’t let him go now, my salary still can’t cover all my expenses”.  As God is the only judge, I therefore cannot judge these women.  Firstly, one never knows how tight the shoe is until you fit it on.  Having said that, my concern is; the mature group that is ‘transacting’ consciously is unconsciously promoting this way of life.  Some are really in tight corners but some are just plain lazy and wants older self-established men to take care of them.  The notion of solving the symptoms will never solve the actual problem. 

If this thinking carries on, I see no growth in the community of women where financial independence is concerned.  Are we encouraging a generation of women looking for older rich men as opposed to jobs?  Women are enjoying assets that are not truly theirs, what happens if the relationship ends?  Are you going to start thinking of going to finish that degree at 35?  Chances are you won’t!  You do not know the fulfilment that comes from building something for yourself.  The next easiest thing for you to do would be to look for another cash cow, and so goes the cycle.

Some ladies have kids that they are raising in the mist of these “transactions”.  One would argue that she is doing what she has to do to raise her children.  All good and well for the now, but have you ever stopped and thought of the possible psychological damage you are causing to your child? 

Life is tough and has no clear cuts but giving your body in exchange for quick cash can never be the only solution, especially with the HIV/Aids statistics in South Africa.  Most men can do just about anything to get a ‘no strings attached’ sex, with you or the next available woman down the road.  However, a man will often opt for a woman he’s never even touched to be his wife.  Let us stop creating sex objects for these men and degrading our value in the process.  Yes you will ‘transact’, but with every ‘transaction’ goes a piece of your soul. 

Until next time, take pride in yourself!  

Happy Women's Month!  

Tamara