Domestic Workers, I salute you!

If my memory serves me correctly, I am now on my 8th Domestic Employee within a space of 4 years.  The shortest duration in this four years experience was a week, and the longest by far is two years. 

In my social survey and from listening to friend's stories, this short-live sydrome of Domestic Workers is a trend.  Without blowing my own horn, personally, I am just an easy woman who strive to get along with all man kind.  So when my first employee left my house, I was sad.  I knew that there was nothing I could do to assist her to keep her job, she was just not right for that particular position and I had to let her go.  I was sad because the look in her eyes was unbearable.  I could see that she needed the job, pain and suffering written all over her face.  A first time Mother who only wanted the best for her son could not carry on with a wobbly infant-domestic relationship, I shut the door and swallowed my sympathy.

I then hired a young bubbly lady who was very instrumental in encouraging mental and physical stimulation in my son.  You would swear that she was talking to someone who willl respond to her when engaging with the child.  They would chat-up a storm, play funny games and gossip about me.  I was drawn to this, and was even willing to overlook her poor house chores excecution, if she's good with my baby-she's perfect for the job.  In my mind there was no doubt, I had found a Nanny!  While I was busy falling inlove with her, she fell inlove with a security guard at the entrance of the estate and fell pregnant.  She started getting pregnant-sick, and I was not about to keep a moody and cheeky Nanny around, so I let her go.

The one who worked for a week suffered from an undiagnosed mental breakdown.  She had moments of outbursts, when one of her moments comes, she would burst out crying like someone close to her had died!  By this time, she would drop down everything with her, including my God-damn-child!  I spoke to her family over the phone and I was told she does that and they don't know why.  That one too had to go!  Then I got a staunch Christian.  When she told me that Jesus was all she lived for, she has no friends, does'nt date, and that all she want is to be able to go to Church on Sundays and to prayer evenings once a month.  I said a silent Amen!  I thought Jesus has finally sent one of her disciples to rescure my situation.  I came back from work one Wednesday, and my son's forehead greeted me through the garage door before I could see his face.  Its an accident, it could have happened to anyone - I consoled myself.  A few days after the accident, I took time off from work and headed home early.  Drove straight to the park to see what exactly goes on there with these two.  The park has got grass, concrete is only on  path ways and the tar road off the park.  I sat there watching my one year old son playing, running on and off the park crossing the tar road to fetch his ball, and my Christian Nanny on the banch, facing the other direction and reading her bible.  She too had to go!

After that, there was no doubt in my mind that I had to employ a better recruitment strategy.  I was not about to go and pay rediculous fees Domestic Recruiters ask for, I took up the legal process myself.  I stopped allowing complete strangers into my house to take care of my child.  I drew up a contract, with all requirements from a potential demestic including the DO's and DONT's and every little detail on a daily basis.  I up'd my game on the salary offered to match my demands.  I offered certain weekends off, mid year leaves, cell phone & airtime incentives, travelling costs, UIF & annual increases.  I hired on a 3months probation period, if all worked well between me, you (as a domestic) and the contract, I would draw up a permanent contract.  I knew right there and then that I was attracting a different kind of falks.  I got my first ever one full year uninterrupted service from a very fitting lady.  We parted as I moved cities and she could not relocate with me.  I hand-made a certificate of domestic working and loyaly for her, and attached a well deserving reference letter for her future endeavours.  I am now comfortable to say, I still have the same Domestic Worker since my relocation.

As I used to be so intolerant with my Domestic workers, I used to not understand why my Mom would always suggest that I give them a chance, until one day when she laid it out for me.  Apparently my Aunt (her older sister) used to work as a Domestic and had horrible experiences.  To my horror, her employers were black people!  She was not allowed to eat their food, she'd cook her own food in the back room.  The "Madam" would take out all ingrediats, count the meat pieces and order my Aunt to cook dinner, but she will not taste her own cooking.  She would dish out, serve the family, wash dishes and go to the "maids quarters" to fix herself her own supper.  This is just one of many inhuman experiences she encountered with this family.  She was led to believe that the "Master" was not aware of this practice, so one evening she prepares dinner as usual.  She deliberately poured lots of salt into every dish, and served her employers!  By this time, she expected anything including dismissal, but wanted to make sure that the "Master" is aware of what was going on.  Shivering with anger, the "Master" calls her in with his voice at the top of his throat, he asked how she could serve food like that.  "Did you taste this food?" the "Master" asked.  "No Sir, Mam told me to never eat the food.  How embarrassed was the "Master"!  He could not believe that for all those years my Aunt worked for them, she was not eating their food.  Women can be very cruel.

Hearing this story and all the other stories my Aunt experienced, I immediately changed the way I viewed my Domestic Workers.  These women are the same as us, all they could not get to achieve is a level of education.  I have realised that they suffer a lot from psychological troubles from our bad treatments.  They leave their homes to take care of other people's homes, neglet their own children so they could raise yours.  They suffer a lot of isolation, and the least we could do is to make them feel they part of our families.  Domestic workers are the strongest women I know, they work long uncalculated hours with heavy workloads and limited rest.  Basically, a permanent live-in domestic worker is exposed to on-call work day and night.  In some cases they have lack of privacy and interference with personal space.  They are the most vulnerable employees as we hire and fire them as we please.  These ladies suffer from lack of work benefits and low incomes, considering the work they do.  We deprive them laisure time as they sit and watch our homes while we experiencing the beauties of life out there.

A friend of mine once said, "No aunty will eat stake while I also eat stake in my house, she can fry some eggs or something".  What would a piece of meat do to change her life to be like yours?  Maybe she has never eaten meat like that before, and you could be the one to make a difference in her life.  You know, there are many ways that God could bless us, and one of them is by blessing those that are out to make a change in other people's lives.  Another lady told me that she allows no visitors to her Domestic Worker.  Socially, how do you think she'll be stimulated? Or that's the least of your worries.  She needs to distress and collect enough enegies to go back to your never ending chores.  In all fairness, they can take advantage of your kindness.  However, that should not make you stop allowing her what is rightfully hers - the needs of a human being.

Invite your domestic's kids to come visit over school holidays, they need their Mother.  Let them come and experience life in your side of the world.  You might just create some inspiration and stimulate a mind that needed just that - motivation.  Sometimes we behave like if someone is poor, the mind is also poor.  Ladies, pay your Domestic Workers, they need money to raise their kids and feed their families. 

Why are you called a "Madam"?  A couple of months back I called my Nanny, and her phone was just next to me on the kitched counter, the caller was "Madam"!  I asked her to change how she has saved my number, I asked her to put 'Mama ka Songita' if she does'nt feel comfortable writing my name.  These were the names our Mothers used to call their white bosses back in the days, why do you still want to be called that?  The treatment some of us give our Domestic Workers is the same appalling treatment our Aunts and Grannies used to get from the white falks, why do you still suppress your own people?  Why is she still called a "Maid"?  These are the little things that belittle our fellow people and give them a sense of failure and unworthiness.

If these ladies had the same choices you had, they would'nt be cleaning peoples houses for a living.  These women are strong and tolerant, something we know little about - I salute them!

Until next time!


Tamara Booi