Where are we heading as economically liberated women of SA?

As we will be celebrating women’s day tomorrow and the rest of the women’s month, the above question is standing firm in my thoughts. Our country is free from apartheid struggles, thank you to our four-fathers who sacrificed their own lives so I could be typing this article - from my laptop - in the comfort of my own home. However, it is evident that we have other struggles that we fighting for like gender inequality.

Women are chasing the same achievements as that of men, given the same opportunities to participate in the economy of our country. The way that women are responding to these opportunities is so efficient, we are seeing a growing number of households run by women financially todate. This says to me – a 21st century breed, that women’s capabilities were suppressed and limited to a selected few responsibilities. My theory then further says: that which is starved eventually becomes unavailable – therefore the capability that was suppressed became an inability.

All good and well but where is this going? I would like us to go back to the concept of creation of man. Man was created in the form of a man and a woman; both sexes were given different testosterones which made them distinct from one another. A woman was made softer (not weaker) than a man and a man was made stronger (not better) than a woman. Christianity teaches us that the purpose of this differentiation was for the two to complement and help one another. The man was created to be strong to protect the woman, and the woman was made softer to create a caring environment for her hero. In this history of Christianity, I am yet to come across a study that says “you are weak as a woman if you don’t fish from the same river as men”.

Men and women are blessed with different talents, have different capabilities and hold different strengths. Frankly, I don’t think that is by chance. Women are so caught-up in the “chasing of steak” – “bringing bacon home” tip to show that THEY too can. All their energies are directed to a race that I think they cannot fully win. Ironically though, men are steady in their purpose, know their strengths and focused on them - This is why they usually excel in what they do. Women on the other hand are faced with the predicament of choices and sacrifices. A vast majority of women who are “steak chasers” are either single (not married) or divorced, if married their kids are raised by nannies – both parents are emotionally or physically unavailable, if not both. A clear example illustrating the two distinct creatures would be - A man can go on a week’s business trip leaving his kids at home, he will miss them but that can easily be secondary to the goal of the trip. Put a woman in the same scenario and you are sure to see a distressed CEO. The emotions around the idea of not knowing what could be going on with her kids are so strong that they easily become a distraction. Once again, this in not by chance – it is because of how we were uniquely created. Just this one example clearly shows that a woman has more strength in the family and a man’s strength is more at work. This is the truth, it just needs to be told and accepted.

We would be astonished with how much damage we are contributing to the ill-being of our generation. We are raising an immoral society of disrespectful children who are driven by materialistic acquisitions. Women are blessed with precious gifts of strong instincts, mothering, caring, educational, motivational, and patience. Our society needs us; our kids need us and our country needs us. The world needs a man and a woman not a man and a man. In that setting there is bound to be a failure in morality, reproduction and recreation.

The ‘chase’ does not end in the boardroom...as it were; women have taken it out to the social world. It sounds much better in isiXhosa “Imivundla ileq’ izinja” - direct translation would be “Rabbits are chasing dogs”. Think about it, what would a rabbit do when it finally gets the dog? Will it make a pray? I don’t think so. It is sad to watch young girls throwing themselves so carelessly at men. I don’t even think men still know how to chat-up a girl, beg her to love them. Today, men are the ones who are continuously denying advances from women (Rabbit chasing dog). They have lost all respect for us and you know why – we have abandoned our strength, the ability to hold on to what is rightfully ours on quest to adopt their purpose to chase. Our kids are confused as to who to idolize when and why because Mom is just the same as Dad – so sad.

This women’s day, I would like to suggest that women think about re-claiming their part in our society and be true Wives, Mothers, sisters, aunts & roses on the big tree called life. This is by all means not a suggestion that women should stay home and have babies because of the stereotype that their place is in the kitchen. Go ahead and get that university degree, participate in the corporate world or otherwise, stimulate, advance and challenge yourself. However, as one of my favourite authors Timothy Leary puts – A woman who seeks to be equal to a man lacks ambition. Never seek to be equal to any man simply because you a woman. I would rather seek to be better than him and to achieve that, I have to focus only on my strengths.

In my opinion, we are still very fortunate that the country still celebrates us. In actual fact, we need to come to a realization that the women who are being celebrated are not from our generation. They are from the strong women of yesterday who stood firm in their beliefs and values. I’m talking about women who fought with tears in their eyes for the psychological well-being of their children; Women who respected each other; their elders; their children and their bodies. The question is – are you that woman? What will your great-grand children celebrate of you? The fact that you can close a sales deal but barely know how to keep your family together? The fact that you can sleep with any and every other man just because you can? Or is it the fact that you think you can disrespect others because you can bank it up? What moral legacy do you hope to live? Wealth with no sense of moral direction?

Until next time, be the woman you are & Happy Women’s Day.

Tamara Booi