Let no experience change who you are!

"What people around you do is a reflection of their own characters, their own understanding of life and the portrayal of their own purpose. It has got little to nothing to do with you."

As the saying goes - Life is 20 percent what happens to you, and 80 percent how you respond. Whoever came up with this saying has really lived to understand this wisdom. There are a lot of things that life presents to us. They come in different forms, find us in different states of mind and we have to respond. There is no book published on how to live life, and this article is not aimed at that either. Simply because life is an evolving journey. Each and every individual has his/her own definition of life. Today I'd like to remind us that, we all have a purpose in life. However, staying true to your purpose is the greatest challenge.

I have realised that people around us have a huge influence in making us sway away from our true purpose. One needs to always remember that, what the other person does is a reflection of their own character and a portrayal of their own purpose. If you are ill-willed or have not yet defined your own purpose, you will find yourself dancing because the monkey next door is also doing so.

You come accross this life harzard a lot at the work place. As much as we all work to make a living and build our careers, other people are just there at work to simple annoy you. If they stay true to their 'purpose' they will annoy you until they see you submit your resignation letter. By that time, they would have served their purpose. Sadly because you are so focused on what they do and it is affecting you to a point where you want to live your job, without achieving what you came there to do - build a career.

In your relationship; be it friendship or romance, there are certain positive things you have stop doing because the other person does'nt do them. You no longer saying 'thank you' in appreciating the gestures you recieve and you back this up by saying you are never appreciated too. What you are doing here is allowing someone else define your character. You have stopped helping your friends - in any form, because you just never get any help from them. All the things you do define the type of person you are and probably have contributed to how your life is currently. If you have decided to drop some pieces of your being, who are you now? Whose purpose are you living?

Anger, heartache and disappointment are the major emotional aspects that plays a huge role in re-defining ourselves and creating confusion around our true purpose.

There are experiences that are just realities of life. As hard as it is to be going through a divorse for example or breaking up with your long term boyfriend. The experience does not define who you are and neither is he. By all means go through all emotions, let go, move on and be the person you truly are. The relationship may have not served his purpose and that has got nothing to do with yours. Another danger to our characters and purpose in relationships is infidelity. It has the power to change the victim into an angry corrupt outregeous bitter individual, and in some cases a co-cheat. I always say if you are a cheat, do so willingly. No man should turn you into something you not. If that's the case, declare that man as your God. If you don't like what he did and can't live with it, live the relationship. If you decide on staying in that relationship, don't change! Remember, what he did is a reflection of his own character and a portrayal of his own purpose.

This goes as far as to small things like greeting when passing a person, if they dont greet you back its ok. You have done what you had to and your day should carry on. Some people just don't respond to your calls, emails, BBMs, whatsapp etc for whatever reason. On their 'happy' day they write to you, don't say you will not respond too - answer, you don't need to be like them. If you welcome your friends in your house with a cup of tea but when you get at their place you have to make your own cup - that's the way it is. Let it not change the way you do things in your home.

We probably all have heard people going on about "What happened to Babalwa*, she used to be a nice" If you are a 'Babalwa*' in your life, I'd suggest you take a step back and do a re-play of your life. Maybe someone or some experience changed you to be who you are today. Its amazing how we seldom come out a better people from experiences. Maybe its easy to just be bad because you just blend instantly as oppose to being good because there are few of those around.

Be shaken by the trials of life but let only God stir you. For what is shaken can easily seperate and what is stirred is difficult to seperate.

Until next time, live your purpose.




Tamara Booi